10 Lessons to Take Away From a Bad Job

The difference between a mistake and a failure is whether you can learn something from the experience. From this point of view, my most recent job was a mistake because I have learned more than I ever thought possible. The following skills may not be bullets for my résumé, but they were necessary, tangible, and worth my time to learn. I have plucked these lessons from the depths of career despair, and would like to share them in the hopes that you can learn from my mistakes.

1. You can handle interacting with difficult people

Coworkers are like family. You don’t get to choose them, you may not like them, but you’re stuck with them anyway. This is the perfect opportunity to learn how to work with people who are unpleasant or just different than you. Some interactions will go better than others, but the important thing is that you’re getting valuable practice without jeopardizing family ties or friendships that are important to you.

2. You can survive a disaster

On the days when it feels like everything is going wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it, know that you’re probably right. There isn’t anything you can do about it, and this is your opportunity to learn patience and acceptance.  No matter what happens, you will survive the day and you will be a wiser person for it. If all else fails, just remember that you’re getting paid.

3. You don’t have to have a dramatic exit

Letting everyone know exactly what you think might be tempting, but it’s not worth it. They probably have an idea as to how you feel, and making an ass out of yourself isn’t going to change your office’s problems. If you have a legitimate complaint, use the proper channels. Otherwise, accept that you’re leaving this place behind and moving on to greener pastures. Save yourself the embarrassment and quit with a bit of class.

4. Maybe, just maybe, you’re partially to blame

Don’t get me wrong, there’s an excellent chance that you’re a genius and every problem you’ve ever had was someone else’s fault. However, let’s entertain Occam’s razor for a moment and accept that perhaps the simplest answer is that you could’ve handled some situations differently. Somewhere between what you should’ve done and what you actually did lies the potential for growth.

5. You can recognize a lost cause

One day you realized that you were in a bad job. What happened next makes all the difference. It may have taken longer than you had hoped, but now you know a lost cause when you see one. You don’t have to drag it out for an extra 18 months next time. Quit while you’re ahead.

6. When it comes to benefits, you know what matters

Through the course of your employment, you’ve probably learned something about your priorities. Maybe a casual dress code means more to you than a stock option, or a decent medical plan is worth giving up the option for flextime. Whatever it happens to be, you’ve learned what to look for at the next job.

7. You know what it takes to be a great employee

Before you start over in a new office, take some time to reflect on your past experiences. Think about the things your colleagues have done to both annoy and impress you. Learn from them so that you can be the coworker everyone else wants to have around.

8. Money really doesn’t buy happiness

It doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank if you spend 8-10 hours every day hating your life. Consider more than just the salary when selecting your next job. There’s no sense in getting a larger paycheck if you’re just going to blow it all on therapy and liquor.

9. You’ve expanded your network

Hopefully you’ve made at least some friends in your office. Not only have you expanded your social circle, you also added to your network of professional contacts. Just one more reason to make sure you leave behind a positive impression.

10. There’s more to life than work

Nothing means more to you than your free time if you’re stuck in a bad job. Think about the people and activities that brought you joy outside of work. Your bad job has just taught you what really matters to you. For me, that was the most important lesson I could’ve taken away from here.

Self-worth

“Your worth as a person does not come from what you are paid. It comes from who you are and what you give.” –Joe Dominguez

Too often, I think we measure success by external measures. We look at who has the biggest house, the largest paycheck, and the newest car. We choose these objects because they are easy to see and clearly measurable. Jason earns more than Sue, therefore Jason is more successful. Sue has a nicer yard than you, therefore she wins.

It’s not always this obvious. Still, if I stop and really listen to my thoughts, I find that I am subtly comparing myself to those around me. I might be jealous that my coworker gets to leave early, or I’ll find myself judging someone else’s lack of computer skills. When we create a competition between ourselves and others we will end up with a winner, but we’ll also always end up with a loser. Either way, we’re creating unnecessary emotional turmoil for ourselves, as the truth doesn’t lie in the black and white comparisons we see. The truth is in the nuances of life.

Jason may earn twice as much, but he also puts in 60 hour weeks and is caring for his extended family. Sue has to spend money on a gardener or invest a large portion of her free time maintaining that yard. We can never truly know the extent of another person’s experiences. We may think our boss is a complete ass, but we don’t know what aspect of his personal life causes him to be miserable. Thanks to an irritable morning of dealing with our boss’s mood swings, we rush past the gas station clerk without noticing that he’s sporting the biggest smile we’ll see all day.

I carry an index card in my purse with a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh written on it:

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over.”

I use this to remind myself not to be reactive. Yes, that comment from my colleague may be completely out of line, but I don’t know what happened this morning to put him in such a nasty mindset, or if the tone of my voice reminded him of someone else. If I am reactive, I only serve to further the conflict and ruin my good mood.

The emotions we feel towards someone else, whether or positive or negative, are simply a reflection of ourselves. If my friend feels jealously towards me and chooses to react negatively, that is a reflection of him. By using external measures to compare ourselves to others we’re engaging in a pointless endeavor, because they will never tell the whole story. If we can accept that each person goes through life with their own burdens and is doing the best they can with the options they were given, we can let go of our jealousy and appreciate the things we already have.

Without looking at those around you, you already know your own self-worth and it has nothing to do with the size of your waist or your wallet. The sum total of our worth is immeasurable, because the things that matter can’t be measured. Your self-worth is in your experiences and your relationships with others. The faster we can stop contaminating those relationships with petty comparisons, the better we’ll feel about our own lot in life.