Some Observations on Work

I'm aware that getting a graduate degree doesn't guarantee career success. Luckily, I didn't tie my degree to my economic success. I went for the degree I wanted, and left my career to my experience.

However, now that I'm knee-deep in my thesis, I can honestly say that I feel for those liberal arts majors who don't have the luxury of the GI Bill.

Before you embark on a graduate degree, consider how much it's going to cost you. I can say with personal experience that no one gives a shit if you have an MA in Humanities. Just this week I was commended on how hard I was working and told to hurry up and finish so that I could start working for just above minimum wage.

I'm lucky to be graduating without any debt, but if you're going to rack up a ton of student loans to finance your education, consider whether your future career will pay off those loans. Look at career projections and expected earnings for your area. You may have to move in order to find work, so be prepared for that.

I realize we're in a recession, but I can say with certainty that there are plenty of low-paying jobs available. It may not be your dream career, but it will provide you with some cash to pay down some loans while you look for something related to your degree. Take anything. You'd be surprised how much fun you can have (and how much you can learn) from something you weren't expecting to do. I wouldn't classify myself as a professional florist/art instructor, but I've learned a lot about customer service and people in general. Below are just a few of my observations.

1. Consider the intelligence of the average person, and then realize that at some point, you're going to come in contact with the bottom 50%.

The best example I can give is the fact that everyone loves delivery, but not everyone knows their own address. This is doubly so in rural areas, where people feel the need to describe the buildings around them in order to tell you where they are.

2. Everyone has a different pet peeve, and you won't know what that is until you piss them off.

Things that might not bother you will cause a complete stranger to flip the hell out. You will consider their outrage to be insane, until some other service worker pisses you off. I've had people lose their minds because they weren't sitting where they expected to be. If they're clearly insane, their friends will inevitably tip well to compensate you for the inconvenience, which is nice.

3. Every job has things that are less than ideal.

Maybe your coworkers are complete idiots, but you get as much vacation as you want. Look at the pros, and balance them against the cons.

4. High salary doesn't necessarily guarantee career satisfaction.

See every post from last year.

5. Your passion might not be everyone else's.

Want to build a website devoted to your deepest interests? Make sure that at least one other person on earth shares your passion. Otherwise, buy a journal and save yourself a lot of time and money.

6. Not everyone tips, but everyone has an excuse if they don't.

In cases where I wasn't expecting a tip, it just makes it awkward when you say something along the lines of, "So…you rock, but I don't have any cash on me..." Just smile and say thank you instead.

7. Some people are having a bad day. Don't take it personally.

I keep this in mind when people are raging over their funeral flowers. They're living the worst day of their life. If they need to take it out on me, I get that. It's better they let loose on a florist than venting their frustrations to their equally miserable family members.

8. Whatever you do, stay out of management.

I've never been so happy to not have a management position. It's so freeing to say, "Let me get my manager," and step away from the situation. My apologies to J; I understand how much your position sucks.

9. Know what works for you.

You might find out mid-degree that you hate people. If you're on the fast track to be a psychologist, it might be time to consider other options before you push through to the end.

10. As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

There are plenty of people out there who think I've lost my goddamn mind. That's fine, because it's my life. I'm the one who has to get up everyday and decide whether or not I'm happy with my circumstances. The same fact is true for you. Your definition of happiness might be living in a vamper and working as a parking attendant. It might be moving to a foreign island and making a living as a bartender. It doesn't matter, as long as you're ok with your decisions. In the words of Thoreau, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Find your path and own it.

Calling a Florist Doesn't Have to be Scary

Now that Mother's Day is over, I'm sure you all remembered to send your mom a nice floral arrangement or at least a card. If not, you might want to get on that.

For next year, allow me to explain how the floral industry works. Most of you probably logged onto one of the many online sites that promises to deliver some god-awful arrangement for the low-low price of $75 or more.

Here's the thing: online sites source to local florists. So you're paying a massive processing fee for one of these sites to send your order to a local florist. That florist may or may not have what you want in stock, hence that whole "substitutions" clause. If we have the exact flowers, they might be the last of a bunch, which doesn't guarantee that they're the freshest flowers we have.

Instead of paying a mark-up to get something close to what you want, just call the florist yourself. Maybe you know what flowers you want; mention those (i.e. iris, tulips, roses, etc.) By doing so, you're guaranteeing the freshest flowers and saving yourself a ton of money. The florist knows exactly what you want, and can tell you whether their lilies are fresh or close to death.

Another idea is to opt for a blooming plant. Then you know your mom will enjoy the plant for years to come, and she won't have to clean the wilted mess off her counter top the following week. In either case, by contacting the florist directly, you'll have a better idea of what you're getting, and you'll get personalized service at a discounted price.

Florists want you to have a positive experience and to enjoy your arrangement. We can't guarantee that if you choose a product we don't have in stock. You'll only know what we have if you call. Also, consider calling early. Then we can order the exact flowers from our wholesalers, and have them on time. There's nothing we can do if you call at 2:00 pm on Valentine's Day. We understand your plight, but it's on you to plan ahead.

If you're totally at a loss for what you want, mention your mom's favorite color. She likes purple? I can do a kick-ass purple arrangement. You don't have to be an expert--that's what we're here for!

And Then There Were Two

After being unemployed for 8 months, I accidentally found myself working two jobs, neither of which are related to my carefully-crafted life plan.

I started working as an art instructor in December. It’s fun and different from anything I’ve ever done, but it’s very part-time. I consider twelve hours at the studio to be a “busy week,” and I supplement that with several hours of practicing, creating personal requests, and taking art classes each week. I consider my continuing education to be a job-related expense, since we do get a few people in every class who have art minors. My approach to art has always been more of a Nike slogan than a valid instruction method: Just do it. Effective when I’m painting, not as useful when I’m teaching someone else.

Since grad school is on hold until April and I only had a few shifts each week, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a text asking if I was available to work at a florist shop during the Valentine’s rush. I would finally have a real, full-time week processing orders on the computer. Perfect!

When I got there, I found out that I was going to be running the computers as well as taking orders over the phone. I hate answering phones like most people hate cleaning bathrooms. In fact, I would clean a bathroom any day before answering the phone. I equally hate being the person to place the call. I get physically ill at the thought of calling customer service, for anything. Caller ID has been a lifesaver, because there are probably four people on earth that I will answer the phone for. See Mom? You are special!

You don't ring, I won't cry.

The first day, I stayed exclusively on the computer. It was an awkward start, as my helpful trainer explained to me how to use copy/paste. I didn’t expect him to be nearly as excited as he was when I “mastered” it. After a short break, in which I assured him that I was not a complete idiot, he described some of the other holiday-help workers he’d been forced to train and it was smooth sailing for the rest of the week. I carefully avoided all phone calls for the first day.

Day two was a different story. At some point, I was going to have to answer the phone and interact with society. Not my strong suit. It’s not that I don’t care when you call, I do. I’m just not very good at understanding what you want and how to achieve that goal if I can’t rely on visual cues. I’ve never been able to process information solely via audio; I need to see your face or preferably a PowerPoint to fully grasp the conversation.

As any instructor will tell you, there are a few distinct learning styles that are used to categorize people: visual, auditory, and tactile (or kinesthetic/kinetic). For some reason, tactile people like to tell me that they’re “touch-learners.” That makes you sound like a sexual predator; please stop. At any rate, I am very much a visual person. Given the choice between a deaf person and myself on the phone, you should go with the deaf guy every time.

I did manage to take several phone orders throughout the week, and I think I only pissed off most of them. Success?

Three days into it, I realized that I loved working at the shop (phones aside). Everything about processing orders and designing arrangements appealed to me. I asked if they needed any help after the holidays, to which my trainer asked me if I’d ever made a floral arrangement before. I responded that I hadn’t, but then again I’d never used their computer system before and that went pretty well.

I got hired the next day, without any resumes, applications, or interviews. Thank Christ, because I don’t think I can sit through another generic interview where we both dress up and pretend to give a shit about each other’s five-year plan. Job interviews are like a first date without any hope of drunken sex at the end.

I’ve been working at the florist shop for two weeks now, and I’ve been excited to show up every day. Each afternoon, when it’s time to leave, I’m surprised to see that I haven’t looked at the clock once. I didn’t even know what my hourly wage was until this afternoon, and even after recovering from the shock and Googling “poverty” I still wanted to continue working. Is this what people mean when they say, “job satisfaction?”

I may never enjoy answering the phones, but it’s not as terrifying after the first hundred times. I even called customer service to try to get a W-2 this afternoon and realized after I hung up that I wasn’t even shaking. This is a serious step in the right direction for me.

I’ve also learned how to use a helium tank to blow up Mylar balloons. The first few were disastrous, and I couldn’t help but think, “How many engineers does it take to blow up a balloon…”

Somehow, mine never end up looking like these.

Properly inflating those things (without exploding them) and then attaching a ribbon without letting them get stuck to the ceiling is quite possibly the most complicated thing I’ve done in a long time. Maybe I would be better at it if I was a “touch-learner.”

Unquitting

I’ve been given the unique opportunity to “unquit” my job twice in last few weeks. This is a touching offer, and has done more to improve my opinion of this company than anything else. However, it has created a bit of a mental dilemma for me.

As with every major decision, I had already jumped head first into full-on panic mode. It’s not that I have a history of decisions not working out. Quite the opposite, really; which adds to my fears that I’m throwing away a good thing. This could be the moment that I look back on in 20 years and count as “the point where everything went to shit.” Whether it’s a fear of the unknown, Stockholm syndrome, or just the fact that I’m institutionalized, the thought of stepping out into the world is paralyzing. If this is the Shawshank Redemption, I am Brooks.

Although these thoughts keep me up at night, there’s something that I fear even more: still being in this career at 50. Staring dramatically into the future isn’t as crazy as it sounds; all of my coworkers started out in this career and will more than likely carry on through retirement. I can count on one hand the number of people I know who have left “the community.”

Although the offers to stay with my company have been very tempting during this tumultuous phase of questioning my decision, I’ve politely declined each time. After effectively quitting my job three times now, I feel like Peter denying Christ, but my reasons for not turning back are perfectly rational.

I want this job, but there's too many cocks.

  
1. I haven’t forgotten why I quit.

This is a big one. With both offers to stay, many of my reasons for quitting would no longer apply and I could conceivably make a decent career out of staying. However, my overall impression of this place has been irreversibly soured. Every time something goes wrong in the future, I know I will reflect back on this period. I don’t want to turn into one of those bitter, soulless people I've worked with who turn every situation into a chance to bitch about the past.

2. I’ll always be that one who ended up staying.

Quitting is one thing. Quitting and then deciding to stick around is entirely another. Even if I did decide to stay, I will be remembered as the one who wanted to leave. It’s a given that I’m not committed to the company, so why would they want to promote me or give me more responsibility? It’s not like I can fake how much I love working here. The cat’s out of the bag.

3. Good luck getting a favor.

I may as well walk into every negotiation in the future waving a massive red flag. If my company has already attempted to accommodate my requests from that time I “threatened to leave,” how likely is it that they will help me now?

4. I’m too happy.

You know that smile you get when you’re stupid happy about something? The one 15-year-old’s have when they’ve found “love” and serial killers have when they give interviews to MSNBC? That’s the one. It’s a little creepy, but completely authentic.

Exactly.

I’ve been walking around with this big, dippy grin since I gave my notice, in a haze of euphoria and relief. I’m swimming in unadulterated joy.  I want to hug strangers and skip through the streets. I’m annoying as all hell on a Monday morning, which is just more reason to smile. So as much as I love stability, I’m going to keep chasing this high a little longer.

10 Lessons to Take Away From a Bad Job

The difference between a mistake and a failure is whether you can learn something from the experience. From this point of view, my most recent job was a mistake because I have learned more than I ever thought possible. The following skills may not be bullets for my résumé, but they were necessary, tangible, and worth my time to learn. I have plucked these lessons from the depths of career despair, and would like to share them in the hopes that you can learn from my mistakes.

1. You can handle interacting with difficult people

Coworkers are like family. You don’t get to choose them, you may not like them, but you’re stuck with them anyway. This is the perfect opportunity to learn how to work with people who are unpleasant or just different than you. Some interactions will go better than others, but the important thing is that you’re getting valuable practice without jeopardizing family ties or friendships that are important to you.

2. You can survive a disaster

On the days when it feels like everything is going wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it, know that you’re probably right. There isn’t anything you can do about it, and this is your opportunity to learn patience and acceptance.  No matter what happens, you will survive the day and you will be a wiser person for it. If all else fails, just remember that you’re getting paid.

3. You don’t have to have a dramatic exit

Letting everyone know exactly what you think might be tempting, but it’s not worth it. They probably have an idea as to how you feel, and making an ass out of yourself isn’t going to change your office’s problems. If you have a legitimate complaint, use the proper channels. Otherwise, accept that you’re leaving this place behind and moving on to greener pastures. Save yourself the embarrassment and quit with a bit of class.

4. Maybe, just maybe, you’re partially to blame

Don’t get me wrong, there’s an excellent chance that you’re a genius and every problem you’ve ever had was someone else’s fault. However, let’s entertain Occam’s razor for a moment and accept that perhaps the simplest answer is that you could’ve handled some situations differently. Somewhere between what you should’ve done and what you actually did lies the potential for growth.

5. You can recognize a lost cause

One day you realized that you were in a bad job. What happened next makes all the difference. It may have taken longer than you had hoped, but now you know a lost cause when you see one. You don’t have to drag it out for an extra 18 months next time. Quit while you’re ahead.

6. When it comes to benefits, you know what matters

Through the course of your employment, you’ve probably learned something about your priorities. Maybe a casual dress code means more to you than a stock option, or a decent medical plan is worth giving up the option for flextime. Whatever it happens to be, you’ve learned what to look for at the next job.

7. You know what it takes to be a great employee

Before you start over in a new office, take some time to reflect on your past experiences. Think about the things your colleagues have done to both annoy and impress you. Learn from them so that you can be the coworker everyone else wants to have around.

8. Money really doesn’t buy happiness

It doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank if you spend 8-10 hours every day hating your life. Consider more than just the salary when selecting your next job. There’s no sense in getting a larger paycheck if you’re just going to blow it all on therapy and liquor.

9. You’ve expanded your network

Hopefully you’ve made at least some friends in your office. Not only have you expanded your social circle, you also added to your network of professional contacts. Just one more reason to make sure you leave behind a positive impression.

10. There’s more to life than work

Nothing means more to you than your free time if you’re stuck in a bad job. Think about the people and activities that brought you joy outside of work. Your bad job has just taught you what really matters to you. For me, that was the most important lesson I could’ve taken away from here.

Quitting with Grace

Everyone has that fantasy about quitting in a blaze of glory. You know the one. Telling your coworkers and your boss exactly what you think of them, waving the double-barreled bird with both hands proudly in the air, and driving off into the sunset. The office may even be on fire in the background, depending on how bad of a day you’re having. As much as you may want to do any or all of these things, your temporary catharsis will not be worth the aftermath.

Quitting a job is an art form, and it should be done with grace and class. This is your last chance to leave an impression, and you want to make sure that the last memory your company has of you is one of professionalism, regardless of how you actually feel.

At the very least, you will need a positive recommendation from your employer for future job searches. Also, the world is much smaller than you may believe and you never know when or where you will run into these people again. Imagine questioning your supervisor about his intelligence, managerial style, and his mother’s sexual decency. Feels good, doesn’t it? Now imagine a few years down the road when he’s the hiring manager at that new company you’re interested in. Save yourself the chance for future heartache and play it safe.

In my ultimate fantasy, I silently log off of my computer, walk out of the office, and never return. I don’t do this because I care about my future and in all honesty, that would be a pretty asinine thing to do. Instead, I always give at least two weeks’ notice (normally a month) and I make sure that my resignation notice is a properly formatted business letter.

Your resignation letter is the last official document you will likely have on file with your company. It should be professional and polite so that if your employer needs to remind themselves about who you are for a referral, you have left behind a positive impression. No matter what kind of experience you have had, be sure to thank your employer in your letter for the time you have worked for them. At the very least, you will have taken away life lessons from this job and they will have paid you for your time. Additionally, end your letter by offering your assistance in training your replacement or easing your transition out of the workplace.

On the other hand, if you have enjoyed your time at a company, be sure to tell them that. My previous boss was amazing and my coworkers felt like family. My resignation letter reflected my reluctance to move into a new career path.

After you’ve submitted your notice, there’s the temptation to completely slack off until your last day. What are they going to do, fire you? Obviously, this will leave behind bad memories in your wake but more than that, you’re setting your coworkers and your replacement up for failure. You might be on your way out, but you’re still getting paid. Don’t make everyone else scramble to cover your assignments as well as their own.

Whether your job has been a great experience or a complete nightmare, stay professional, continue to work hard during your final days, and be the kind of employee that your company will miss when you’re gone.

Let's ROWE!

1:15. Skim an article about productivity. 1:17. Space out for awhile. 1:32. Refill coffee cup. 1:34. Check for new emails. Still 1:34. This is my typical afternoon as a clock-watcher. I don’t plan to watch the clock, I just can’t help myself. There’s nothing like being bored out of your mind and knowing that you can’t leave yet to drag time to a standstill.

Perhaps it’s because of my clock-watching habit that I’m so intrigued by the idea of a Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE). ROWE is a concept created by two Best Buy Human Resource managers, Judy Thompson and Cali Ressler. Instead of working a set number of hours per week, work is based on results. You are free to do your work whenever and wherever you want, as long as you get your work done. It’s such a simple concept on the surface, but it has the power to revolutionize the way we look at business.

Clock-watching aside, consider how a ROWE would impact your personal life. There would be no need to flex your hours in order to pick up your kid from school. You wouldn’t have to waste a precious vacation day waiting for the repairman. If you friend was visiting, you could meet her for lunch and not have to rush. Just imagine not having to set your alarm, sit in traffic, and slip in late through the side door.

But wait, if your boss can’t see you how will he know you’re working? Wouldn’t productivity plummet as these irresponsible slackers spend their days sleeping in and shopping? As it turns out, the truth was quite the opposite. Productivity sky-rocketed 35% under Thompson and Ressler’s scheme, while employee turnovers dropped 90% (Lee 34).

As impressive as they are, these results are hardly surprising to me. As my afternoon demonstrates, the fact that I’m physically at work does not mean that I’m doing work. Instead, I’m finding ways to alleviate my boredom and pass the time. However, even if I was swamped with work I would be more focused on the task at hand if I wasn’t worrying about personal errands. With a ROWE, I would have the flexibility to get my work done and get the cat to vet on time.

Requiring employees to sit under the watchful eye of the boss does nothing to foster trust and cooperation. If anything, it creates a passive-aggressive environment of presenteeism and guilt, where each employee rebels in his or her own way. Some feel a twinge of happy revenge after sneaking out early, while others maintain that the first one in and the last one out is the winner, regardless of the impact on their personal lives. Generationally, the stereotypes persist. “Some boomers felt they’d been forced to choose between work and life during their careers. So everyone else should, too” (Conlin 65).

ROWE isn’t just an extension of flextime, which Thompson and Ressler refer to as a “con game” and a “total joke.” They feel that the problem with flextime is that it heaps “needless bureaucracy on managers instead of addressing the real issue: how to work more efficiently in an era of transcontinental teams and multiple time zones” (Conlin 63).

With flextime, you’re expected to make up your hours to ensure you still get a full 40 hours each week. Flextime results in the same amount of clock-watching, with the added bonus of feeling stigmatized because you were “lucky” enough to work a modified schedule. No matter how you slice it, 40 hours is 40 hours. In the spirit of complete honesty, I think Kelley Butler, the Editor-in-Chief of Benefit News, said it best:

“Traditional work hours benefit companies more than they do the employees…if employers really want to keep valued workers, it is time to make a change” (7).

Thompson and Ressler found a way to make that change and in fact, their plan worked so well that they have since branched out as private consultants and created CultureRX, a Best Buy subsidiary designed to help other companies set up a ROWE. They also published the book Why Work Sucks and How to Fix It to further explain their idea (Westcott 31).

A ROWE might not work for everyone, but then again, isn’t that the point? We don’t all have to follow the same path, and work in the same way. As employees reexamine their priorities and the millennial generation takes to the work place, I can clearly see the benefits of this alternative. It’s time to change the way we look at work and finally stop watching that clock.


Butler, Kelley M. “Time to ROWE with the Flow.” Employee Benefit News Mar. 2007: 7. Web.

Conlin, Michelle. “Smashing the Clock.” BusinessWeek 4013 (2006): 60-68. Web.

Lee, James H. “Hard at Work in the Jobless Future.” The Futurist 46.2 (2012): 32-35. Web.

Westcott, Scott. “Beyond Flextime: Trashing the Workweek.” Inc 30.8 (2008): 30-31. Web.

Knowing When to Quit

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.”

I hated that quote when I was a kid. I could never understand the point of forcing myself to excel at activities where I clearly lacked the aptitude and interest. The activities I excelled at were the ones I was passionate about, and unlike a smug platitude, passion will give you the courage and dedication you need to work through the rough spots.

I was more driven to succeed when I was a kid because I was much better at distinguishing between passion and futility. I knew when to move on, and when to stick it out. As adults, I think we have a tendency to get wrapped up in the details of how to succeed, which results in an inability to see the forest for the trees.

We also have a lot more pride to contend with as adults. It’s difficult to say, “I’m not good at this,” and walk away. We worry about what our friends, family, and colleagues will think of us. We forget that it’s not their life; it’s ours. It’s our responsibility to recognize our skills and our shortcomings. Walking away from something may be difficult, but the freedom is worth it.

One of the easiest ways to spend too much time on a futile project is the “sunk cost” fallacy. Stephen Dubner, from the popular Freakonomics series, defined the sunk cost fallacy as “the time, or money, or sweat equity that you’ve put into something, which makes it hard to abandon.” The sunk cost fallacy makes us cling to a sinking ship far longer than we should. We end up doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, just as the old misattributed definition of insanity assures us we will.

Together with co-author Steve Levitt, Dubner discussed the Upside of Quitting in an episode of Freakonomics Radio. One of their points that resonated with me was the idea of failing quickly. Levitt explained it beautifully:

“One of my great skills as an economist has been to recognize the need to fail quickly and the willingness to jettison a project as soon as I realize it’s likely to fail.”

Instead of dragging a hopeless endeavor around, drop it and move onto something you can successfully finish. Moving onto something else is really the most important part of quitting. Every hour (or day, or year) you spend on something that’s not worth the effort is time that you could be spending on a successful project. This is called the “opportunity cost.”

We all have those projects in the back of our mind that we’d love to try out “if only we had the time.” This is your time. If you can recognize and let go of the failures, you will free yourself to go after the things you’re passionate about. Where would you invest your time if you weren’t busy proving you’re not a quitter?

Weekend Getaways

It’s Monday morning, which comes with the inevitable, “So, what did you do over the weekend?” Did you straighten up the house? Do some laundry? Maybe do some yard work and pick up groceries? Allow me to introduce the weekend getaway.

Weekend getaways are a great way to get out there and try something new without using your limited vacation days or spending a fortune, which means you can take more of them. This easy change of pace will break up your normal routine and get you out of the daily grind mindset. There’s no trudging through a list of chores and watching the hours tick by on your Sunday afternoon. You can use your leisure time to the fullest, and have some fun instead of worrying about Monday.

This is a good way to interject some positivity into your social life as well. If you remove yourself from your normal environment with its inevitable distractions and obligations, you can focus more fully on your friends and family. Additionally, a weekend getaway will provide you with a fun, interesting conversation topic for that dreary return to the office. There’s nothing like recalling a great trip and sharing your experiences with your coworkers to keep you on that weekend high for longer.

A shorter trip gives you all the benefits of a vacation without the stress of planning, packing, or catching your flight. You won’t have time to get bored with your vacation, and you’ll be more likely seek out memorable activities if you know you’re working with a limited amount of time. You can also give yourself a pat on the back for having some fun without adding undue stress on the environment.

There are lots of options for a quick trip away. Recently, my adventure partner and I spent the night at a local bed and breakfast that’s attached to a supposedly haunted pub. We didn’t end up seeing any ghosts, but we had a great time eating at the pub and hanging out on the river. When taking local trips like this, pretend that you’re a tourist in your own region. Do a little research for parks or attractions within a few hours’ drive of your house. It’s a cheap, easy, and fun way to learn more about your local area.

Camping is another cost-effective way to spend time with your friends and family and get some fresh air. Cooking over a campfire makes for a delicious, cheap dinner and you can easily go hiking, fishing, and swimming now that summer’s on its way.

If camping and splashing around in a lake isn’t your cup of tea, maybe try a hotel with a pool and sauna. Another option is a spa getaway with the girls. Look for hotels that offer discounts on spa packages for guests to save money while pampering yourself.

Your weekend can be easily tailored to match your interests. My adventure partner and I love trying out new foods and local beverages. We make a habit out of looking for new restaurants, beer festivals, and local wineries and breweries. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and try something completely new. Perhaps a hot air balloon ride, rafting down the river, or taking a photography class? The sky’s the limit, so feel free to get creative!

Wasting our Vacation Days

When was the last time you took a vacation? Not that day you called in sick to run errands, but a real vacation; one that lasted a week or more. If you’re like many Americans, it’s been far too long.

According to activist groups such as Take Back Your Time, Americans typically receive 3-4 weeks less vacation time each year than Western Europeans. We average a slim two weeks (Bronson) and a quarter of American workers don’t get any vacation time at all (Ewers). What’s worse is that even if we do have paid vacation, we choose not to use it. In 2006, we collectively left 574 million days of vacation untaken, or an average of 4 days each (Bronson).

The current recession has left many feeling lucky to have a job at all, and the pressure is on to prove ourselves on the job. Additionally, thanks to layoffs and downsizing the workload is being spread across a smaller pool of employees. With so much to do and so little time, who can afford to be out of the office for a week?

The sad fact is that we can’t afford to not take that week of vacation. The physical and psychological benefits of leisure time have been consistently demonstrated. Overworked employees are fatigued, stressed, and unhealthy. Less time for ourselves means less time to engage in physical activity, bond with our friends and family, and to shop for healthy meal options. It’s hard to turn down the ease and convenience of the drive-thru when we’re exhausted and short on time.

Whether it’s a short break or a longer trip, one recent study clearly explained the link between leisure time and maintaining healthy stress levels:

Some leisure activities (e.g., vacations, siestas, coffee breaks) may serve as “breathers” that provide a chance to take a break, engage in a pleasurable diversionary activity, and consequently induce positive emotions and reduce stress. Enjoyable activities may also act as “restorers” that facilitate the individual's recovery from stress by replenishing damaged or depleted resources (Pressman and Matthews, et al.)

When we think of a great employee, we think of someone who is creative, productive, and attentive, none of which are attributes of someone who is stressed out. We need time off to relax and recharge in order to be that stellar worker. Thanks to advances in technology, it’s easy to get away and while staying connected, but it’s important not to take our work with us on vacation. We need time to remove ourselves from the daily grind and approach our work from a fresh, new perspective.

For our health and for our productivity, let’s stop leaving those vacation days on the table and start to live a little.

Bronson, Po. “Just Sit Back and Relax!” Time 167.26 (2006): 78. Web.

Ewers, Justin. “All Work And No Play Makes A Company... Unproductive.” U.S. News & World Report 143.5 (2007): 42. Web.

Pressman, Sarah D., Karen A. Matthews, et al. “Association of Enjoyable Leisure Activities with Psychological and Physical Well-Being.” Psychosomatic Medicine. 71.7 (2009): 725-732. Web.

Why We Buy

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” Will Rogers

If you ask a person why they work, the short answer will normally be, “So I can get paid.” Why else would we volunteer to spend such a large portion of our lives engaged in activities that we don’t necessarily want to do? Granted, there are those souls who have found their passion in life and love what they do, as well as those who feel a genuine need to work, but the rest of us show up because we are providing an exchange of services for wealth. We require our paycheck for the necessities in life (food, water, shelter) but more so than that, wealth provides comfort. Money may not be able to buy us happiness, but it can ensure we have plenty of distractions from our displeasure. It’s much nicer to cry on a yacht than a sidewalk.

But how much is enough? Do we “need” the yacht or is it just a distraction? Even harder is the question of whether or not we even want the yacht. How much of your time are you spending to earn a paycheck to buy things you don’t want, but feel you “have” to have? Is your desire fueled by your values or your need to belong and blend in with everyone else?

To clarify, I’m not an advocate of throwing out everything you have in favor of the simple life and I’m not saying that consumerism is evil. I don’t personally want to imagine a world where I don’t have an iTouch, but I bought it because I knew it would bring me years of pleasure. It’s a product that has far surpassed the investment I put in to earn it, and I bought it because I knew it was the product I wanted. I literally wear my electronics out, and I love every minute of them. Through excessive trial and error, I have learned which products I like and I know that when I’m buying an iTouch, I’m buying it because it is the best product I have found, not because of loyalty to Apple or what people think of me for owning it.

On the flip side, I also own a Dooney and Bourke purse. I purchased this bag because of the brand. I wanted to look successful and grown up, and thought a name brand bag would add a bit of polish to my style. It has not brought me the level of happiness I thought it would, because I know I bought it for the sake of outside opinion. As an overall investment, it ended up being a great choice. It is of superior quality to other purses I have owned, and it is still in perfect condition after years of wear and tear. Had I researched and come to this conclusion before I bought it, I have no doubt that I would be happier with my decision. Instead, I will always know that I carry my insecurities in my hand with this purse.

My desire to show off with a name brand handbag demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding between intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Intrinsic goals are the objects in our lives that result in nurturing relationships, taking care of our health, and engaging in worthwhile pursuits: things that make us happy that come from within the self. Extrinsic goals are built on our desire to pull our happiness from outside of ourselves, or to fill a void with external materials. We feel a fleeting sense of happiness and relief when we purchase something we desire, but as Samuel Franklin wrote in The Psychology of Happiness, “momentary pleasures do not add up to happiness. A good life comes from growing, actualizing, and fulfilling possibilities” (54).

The theme of today is to spend a few moments thinking about the good life and what my own personal possibilities are, and then to reprioritize my time to focus on my intrinsic goals.


Franklin, Samuel S. The Psychology of Happiness: A Good Human Life. New York, NY: Cambridge University Press, 2010. Print.

Owning My Decisions

I didn’t have to go to work today. I didn’t have to get up, shower, drive in, and sit at my computer. I didn’t have to fake a smile and make small talk about how summer sure is taking its time getting here this year. I could have packed up a picnic, drove out to the beach, and watched the waves all day, but I chose to be here instead. There were several reasons for this decision. There’s freezing rain, my boss would probably leave angry messages on my phone, and I’d have to answer for it tomorrow.

No matter what my rationale for why I made my decision, it was my decision to make. No one is forcing me to be here in the office. No one forced me to be in this career. These are all choices I made at various points in my life. My decisions were influenced by a slew of variables such as my upbringing, society, financial compensation, and education levels, but the simple fact remains that it is my decision and I own that.

So what's the problem? My priorities have changed but my reality hasn’t. I’m still doing what I thought I wanted to do when I was younger and more naïve. Where I am is safe, and change is scary. I may not like it, but it’s familiar, and what if my next choice turns out even worse? This line of thought results in a kind of career paralysis, where you would rather stagnate in something you know than take the risk of trying something new.

I believe in taking responsibility for my life’s decisions and my personal happiness level, but I’m a bit too cynical to launch into a tirade of inspirational quotes about following your heart. I will say that if you do decide to follow your heart, you should also trust your gut. That ball in your stomach tells you what you already know, and no amount of effort or distraction will change that. I know that I am not a good fit for this office, but I have decided to stick with it long after I recognized this simple truth, and I decided to be here today.

Day after day I choose to sit under these fluorescent lights in this dark building with its gray walls and dirty blue carpet stained with coffee. In the winter, I go days without ever seeing the sun because I’m afraid to jump out the corporate window. It would be easier to sit here and whine about my situation than to actually take a chance and do something about it. These upcoming travel adventures are my jump. I’ve spent enough time half-assing my life to know that I want to go all in on this hand. And that’s a decision I’m proud to own.

What do you want to do next?

This is the question that pops up on my screen whenever I open a new tab in Internet Explorer. Luckily, I only have to see this question on my work computer because I have standards at home and those standards told me to ditch Explorer in 2005. But for eight long hours I'm taunted by the pale blue text: What do you want to do next?

It's the same question that floats softly through my mind on long commutes, whispered by that little voice in the back of my mind. I turn up the radio so I don’t have to listen to those nagging questions, much like drowning out that weird sound my engine makes. I sing along to whatever autotuned bullshit England has managed to turn into a dance remix, unless it's Maroon 5. My dignity won't let me enjoy “Moves like Jagger.”

I do this because I fear the silence. I can hear that voice in the silence, and she knows too much. She asks the pertinent questions. Not just, "What do you want to do next?" but the big questions. “Why are you wasting 50 hours a week on a job you're not passionate about?” “What IS your passion?” “Is this what you thought you'd be doing with your life?” “What will make you happy?”

I think of my teenage self, gathering up old copies of National Geographic so she could cut out pictures of exotic locations and paste them onto a poster board. I see her rocking out to REO Speedwagon and Tom Petty and dreaming of how her life would be. It's true that I have traveled far more than most, but I've stopped enjoying it. Even when I’m on vacation, my mind is at work. I gave up figuring out what I wanted to do with my life and sold out for the closest option. Now everything just seems like another hassle I have to get through, another box I need to tick.

My job, or rather my preoccupation with my job, consumes my free time, but I've invested so many years that I'm afraid to try something new.

In this frame of mind, I ended up in my car after another long day of being asked what I wanted to do next. An old familiar song came on the radio: “Time for Me to Fly” by REO. By the time I got to the lyric "I do believe I've had enough," I had my answer. Instead of clinging to the past and daydreaming of the future, I'm going to travel mindfully with my adventure partner/husband. I'm going to record our travels so that I can create lasting memories of the life we're creating, and it is my hope that by sharing my experiences, I can help others on their journey. I finally know what I want to do next.