Unquitting

I’ve been given the unique opportunity to “unquit” my job twice in last few weeks. This is a touching offer, and has done more to improve my opinion of this company than anything else. However, it has created a bit of a mental dilemma for me.

As with every major decision, I had already jumped head first into full-on panic mode. It’s not that I have a history of decisions not working out. Quite the opposite, really; which adds to my fears that I’m throwing away a good thing. This could be the moment that I look back on in 20 years and count as “the point where everything went to shit.” Whether it’s a fear of the unknown, Stockholm syndrome, or just the fact that I’m institutionalized, the thought of stepping out into the world is paralyzing. If this is the Shawshank Redemption, I am Brooks.

Although these thoughts keep me up at night, there’s something that I fear even more: still being in this career at 50. Staring dramatically into the future isn’t as crazy as it sounds; all of my coworkers started out in this career and will more than likely carry on through retirement. I can count on one hand the number of people I know who have left “the community.”

Although the offers to stay with my company have been very tempting during this tumultuous phase of questioning my decision, I’ve politely declined each time. After effectively quitting my job three times now, I feel like Peter denying Christ, but my reasons for not turning back are perfectly rational.

I want this job, but there's too many cocks.

  
1. I haven’t forgotten why I quit.

This is a big one. With both offers to stay, many of my reasons for quitting would no longer apply and I could conceivably make a decent career out of staying. However, my overall impression of this place has been irreversibly soured. Every time something goes wrong in the future, I know I will reflect back on this period. I don’t want to turn into one of those bitter, soulless people I've worked with who turn every situation into a chance to bitch about the past.

2. I’ll always be that one who ended up staying.

Quitting is one thing. Quitting and then deciding to stick around is entirely another. Even if I did decide to stay, I will be remembered as the one who wanted to leave. It’s a given that I’m not committed to the company, so why would they want to promote me or give me more responsibility? It’s not like I can fake how much I love working here. The cat’s out of the bag.

3. Good luck getting a favor.

I may as well walk into every negotiation in the future waving a massive red flag. If my company has already attempted to accommodate my requests from that time I “threatened to leave,” how likely is it that they will help me now?

4. I’m too happy.

You know that smile you get when you’re stupid happy about something? The one 15-year-old’s have when they’ve found “love” and serial killers have when they give interviews to MSNBC? That’s the one. It’s a little creepy, but completely authentic.

Exactly.

I’ve been walking around with this big, dippy grin since I gave my notice, in a haze of euphoria and relief. I’m swimming in unadulterated joy.  I want to hug strangers and skip through the streets. I’m annoying as all hell on a Monday morning, which is just more reason to smile. So as much as I love stability, I’m going to keep chasing this high a little longer.

10 Lessons to Take Away From a Bad Job

The difference between a mistake and a failure is whether you can learn something from the experience. From this point of view, my most recent job was a mistake because I have learned more than I ever thought possible. The following skills may not be bullets for my résumé, but they were necessary, tangible, and worth my time to learn. I have plucked these lessons from the depths of career despair, and would like to share them in the hopes that you can learn from my mistakes.

1. You can handle interacting with difficult people

Coworkers are like family. You don’t get to choose them, you may not like them, but you’re stuck with them anyway. This is the perfect opportunity to learn how to work with people who are unpleasant or just different than you. Some interactions will go better than others, but the important thing is that you’re getting valuable practice without jeopardizing family ties or friendships that are important to you.

2. You can survive a disaster

On the days when it feels like everything is going wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it, know that you’re probably right. There isn’t anything you can do about it, and this is your opportunity to learn patience and acceptance.  No matter what happens, you will survive the day and you will be a wiser person for it. If all else fails, just remember that you’re getting paid.

3. You don’t have to have a dramatic exit

Letting everyone know exactly what you think might be tempting, but it’s not worth it. They probably have an idea as to how you feel, and making an ass out of yourself isn’t going to change your office’s problems. If you have a legitimate complaint, use the proper channels. Otherwise, accept that you’re leaving this place behind and moving on to greener pastures. Save yourself the embarrassment and quit with a bit of class.

4. Maybe, just maybe, you’re partially to blame

Don’t get me wrong, there’s an excellent chance that you’re a genius and every problem you’ve ever had was someone else’s fault. However, let’s entertain Occam’s razor for a moment and accept that perhaps the simplest answer is that you could’ve handled some situations differently. Somewhere between what you should’ve done and what you actually did lies the potential for growth.

5. You can recognize a lost cause

One day you realized that you were in a bad job. What happened next makes all the difference. It may have taken longer than you had hoped, but now you know a lost cause when you see one. You don’t have to drag it out for an extra 18 months next time. Quit while you’re ahead.

6. When it comes to benefits, you know what matters

Through the course of your employment, you’ve probably learned something about your priorities. Maybe a casual dress code means more to you than a stock option, or a decent medical plan is worth giving up the option for flextime. Whatever it happens to be, you’ve learned what to look for at the next job.

7. You know what it takes to be a great employee

Before you start over in a new office, take some time to reflect on your past experiences. Think about the things your colleagues have done to both annoy and impress you. Learn from them so that you can be the coworker everyone else wants to have around.

8. Money really doesn’t buy happiness

It doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank if you spend 8-10 hours every day hating your life. Consider more than just the salary when selecting your next job. There’s no sense in getting a larger paycheck if you’re just going to blow it all on therapy and liquor.

9. You’ve expanded your network

Hopefully you’ve made at least some friends in your office. Not only have you expanded your social circle, you also added to your network of professional contacts. Just one more reason to make sure you leave behind a positive impression.

10. There’s more to life than work

Nothing means more to you than your free time if you’re stuck in a bad job. Think about the people and activities that brought you joy outside of work. Your bad job has just taught you what really matters to you. For me, that was the most important lesson I could’ve taken away from here.

Quitting with Grace

Everyone has that fantasy about quitting in a blaze of glory. You know the one. Telling your coworkers and your boss exactly what you think of them, waving the double-barreled bird with both hands proudly in the air, and driving off into the sunset. The office may even be on fire in the background, depending on how bad of a day you’re having. As much as you may want to do any or all of these things, your temporary catharsis will not be worth the aftermath.

Quitting a job is an art form, and it should be done with grace and class. This is your last chance to leave an impression, and you want to make sure that the last memory your company has of you is one of professionalism, regardless of how you actually feel.

At the very least, you will need a positive recommendation from your employer for future job searches. Also, the world is much smaller than you may believe and you never know when or where you will run into these people again. Imagine questioning your supervisor about his intelligence, managerial style, and his mother’s sexual decency. Feels good, doesn’t it? Now imagine a few years down the road when he’s the hiring manager at that new company you’re interested in. Save yourself the chance for future heartache and play it safe.

In my ultimate fantasy, I silently log off of my computer, walk out of the office, and never return. I don’t do this because I care about my future and in all honesty, that would be a pretty asinine thing to do. Instead, I always give at least two weeks’ notice (normally a month) and I make sure that my resignation notice is a properly formatted business letter.

Your resignation letter is the last official document you will likely have on file with your company. It should be professional and polite so that if your employer needs to remind themselves about who you are for a referral, you have left behind a positive impression. No matter what kind of experience you have had, be sure to thank your employer in your letter for the time you have worked for them. At the very least, you will have taken away life lessons from this job and they will have paid you for your time. Additionally, end your letter by offering your assistance in training your replacement or easing your transition out of the workplace.

On the other hand, if you have enjoyed your time at a company, be sure to tell them that. My previous boss was amazing and my coworkers felt like family. My resignation letter reflected my reluctance to move into a new career path.

After you’ve submitted your notice, there’s the temptation to completely slack off until your last day. What are they going to do, fire you? Obviously, this will leave behind bad memories in your wake but more than that, you’re setting your coworkers and your replacement up for failure. You might be on your way out, but you’re still getting paid. Don’t make everyone else scramble to cover your assignments as well as their own.

Whether your job has been a great experience or a complete nightmare, stay professional, continue to work hard during your final days, and be the kind of employee that your company will miss when you’re gone.

Knowing When to Quit

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.”

I hated that quote when I was a kid. I could never understand the point of forcing myself to excel at activities where I clearly lacked the aptitude and interest. The activities I excelled at were the ones I was passionate about, and unlike a smug platitude, passion will give you the courage and dedication you need to work through the rough spots.

I was more driven to succeed when I was a kid because I was much better at distinguishing between passion and futility. I knew when to move on, and when to stick it out. As adults, I think we have a tendency to get wrapped up in the details of how to succeed, which results in an inability to see the forest for the trees.

We also have a lot more pride to contend with as adults. It’s difficult to say, “I’m not good at this,” and walk away. We worry about what our friends, family, and colleagues will think of us. We forget that it’s not their life; it’s ours. It’s our responsibility to recognize our skills and our shortcomings. Walking away from something may be difficult, but the freedom is worth it.

One of the easiest ways to spend too much time on a futile project is the “sunk cost” fallacy. Stephen Dubner, from the popular Freakonomics series, defined the sunk cost fallacy as “the time, or money, or sweat equity that you’ve put into something, which makes it hard to abandon.” The sunk cost fallacy makes us cling to a sinking ship far longer than we should. We end up doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, just as the old misattributed definition of insanity assures us we will.

Together with co-author Steve Levitt, Dubner discussed the Upside of Quitting in an episode of Freakonomics Radio. One of their points that resonated with me was the idea of failing quickly. Levitt explained it beautifully:

“One of my great skills as an economist has been to recognize the need to fail quickly and the willingness to jettison a project as soon as I realize it’s likely to fail.”

Instead of dragging a hopeless endeavor around, drop it and move onto something you can successfully finish. Moving onto something else is really the most important part of quitting. Every hour (or day, or year) you spend on something that’s not worth the effort is time that you could be spending on a successful project. This is called the “opportunity cost.”

We all have those projects in the back of our mind that we’d love to try out “if only we had the time.” This is your time. If you can recognize and let go of the failures, you will free yourself to go after the things you’re passionate about. Where would you invest your time if you weren’t busy proving you’re not a quitter?